Dating a ex boyfriends friend
If you need to vent about one of them, find a neutral party.3. For instance, if your friend doesn't want to go to parties where her ex will be in attendance, don't pressure her.But don't assume she doesn't want an invite if you haven't asked!
And don't ever use jealousy or insecurity over their past relationship to excuse irrational or controlling behavior on your part. It may be tempting ask your friend to analyze what happened between the two of them so that you can avoid making the same mistakes, but resist that urge.In fact, when we met, my now-partner was on a date with my best friend.They dated casually for a few weeks before they split up and we got together, and three years later the same friend gave one of the readings at our wedding.This goes for friends and partners who haven't dated, too, now that I think of it.Set aside time for each of them and honor it — don't drag your lover along on girls' night out (not even if your lover is a lady; queer chicks are about this), and don't invite your friend to what was supposed to be a romantic dinner at home.4. Don't ask your man if you're prettier/smarter/better at Scrabble than his last girlfriend.Of course, if your sweetie gives you a legitimate reason to believe he's untrustworthy, get out of there stat, but if there's really nothing wrong, don't create problems where none exist. Likewise, don't grill your boyfriend on what went wrong or insist that he account for his behavior throughout the entire time they dated.
Their relationship is between them; it's not your cautionary tale or your soap opera.
If they choose to share details with you, that's fine — you don't need to stick your fingers in your ears, unless an overt comparison is being made (see No. Your relationship and theirs are separate things, and you don't need to know anything they don't care to tell you.7. It's easier, of course, to have hard-line rules — "exes are never OK" versus "exes are totally fine" — but that's not the world we live in.
If someone seriously mistreated your friend (we're talking emotional or physical abuse, infidelity, lying, stealing, etc.), don't date him, no matter how awesome his butt looks in jeans.
Even if you meet someone to whom you think you have no previous connection, a 10-minute conversation almost always reveals that she went to high school with your college roommate, used to be on a volleyball team with that girl from your book club, and had a six-month stand with your favorite barista.
Queers don't tend to expect our dates to come into our lives completely free of prior complication.
This can be extremely tempting if they ended on bad terms and you know you'll find a sympathetic ear.